Have your arms sales experienced a decline lately?
Are your weapons systems losing their popularity among your clients?
Do you feel a need to motivate your government to permit arms sales to countries that no one in the industrialized world should be dealing with?
Would you like to expand your business into new industries, regardless of their legality?
Would you like to invest some of your corporate monetary assets and turn an
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, perhaps we can help.
ARMAGEDDON NOW is an arms industry consulting service dedicated to making your weapons manufacturing corporation the arsenal of
democracy!
Here is a testimonial from one of our satisfied clients, an important senior Executive in the arms industry, and a major shareholder with a diverse portfolio, who wishes to remain anonymous. We'll call him Mr. X.
AN: Mr. X, tell us your experience with ARMAGEDDON NOW!
MR. X: Well, I had been in the arms industry for years. I supplied the United States, several countries in Europe, Asia, Africa and South America -- I mean, we were global already -- but, you know, after the Cold War, business just took a turn for the worse. The Gulf War and other problems in the Middle East were nice, but business was just too unpredictable. I was worried about the future of my company and my portfolio.
AN: Yes, I can well imagine. So, tell me, what did you do?
MR. X: I called ARMAGEDDON NOW. ARMAGEDDON NOW really turned things around for me!
AN: What did ARMAGEDDON NOW do for you, Mr. X?
MR. X: Well, first, ARMAGEDDON NOW showed me how much I had in common with our nation's enemies. There was this terrorist organization that wanted to destroy the World Trade Center, and had even already tried to do so once, but just didn't have the resources to succeed. ARMAGEDDON NOW showed us how we, too, could benefit from their success. Working with some of our business partners, we provided the terrorists the needed information and expertise to destroy those Twin Towers. That was worth some money there, but that was nothing compared to what came next.
AN: Oh, do tell!
MR. X: Our company and many of our investors were able to turn our knowledge of the terrorists' attacks into real money by planning appropriate stock trades around the attacks. (laughs) As those financial whizkids were jumping out of the Twin Towers to get away from the fire, whizzing down and splatting on the ground, our stock trades were whizzing through their computers unmonitored. We made a hell of a killing that week! And, when the towers then collapsed, all the evidence of our trades was buried in the rubble, so nobody could tie it to us!
AN: Wow! That is innovative! But that's not all ARMAGEDDON NOW did, is it, Mr. X?
MR. X: Oh, no! ARMAGEDDON NOW did much more. Also during the attacks, ARMAGEDDON NOW arranged for WTC 7, which wasn't even hit by a jetliner, to be imploded, or "pulled" as they say. This was a big help, too, since WTC 7 is where many government agencies had their offices, including the SEC. All their investigations of our other shady deals were buried in the rubble of another collapsed skyscraper, and, with their offices physically destroyed, they wouldn't be looking into our trades from the week of the attack any time soon!
AN: Yeah, this just gets better and better.
MR. X: It sure does. The destruction of the World Trade Center prompted the President to declare a War on Terror, a war which everyone in his adminstration promises will not end any time soon! That's great news for the arms industry. The gift that keeps on giving! And, since we're now fighting a War on Terror, our business partners' investments in narcotics trafficking just aren't a priority for government interference anymore.
AN: Why is that important, Mr. X?
MR. X: Well, some of our biggest clients for arms sales are Pakistan and Turkey. Both of those countries are very undemocratic and have terrible human rights records. Both are very corrupt, and heavily involved in smuggling heroin. Remember, too, that Pakistan is a state sponsor of terror. Nobody in their right minds would sell America's best weapons to those thugs! But, by lobbying Congress effectively, we not only make the sale to support the War on Terror; we get U.S. foreign aid to pay for the purchase! And let's face it, that lobbying wouldn't be possible without proceeds from international heroin trafficking to pay off people all over Washington.
AN: Wow, you're really making a killing!
MR. X: I sure am. When I saw those Twin Towers come down, I knew we had picked a winner! And, to top it all off, our terrorist friends hijacked and crashed two other planes that day, and that just made everyone all the more convinced that the hijackings were the real crime of the day. Nobody's even looking for the money that we made, and that's a good thing, because if they ever find it, they might find us!
AN: Well, your secret is safe with me. Thank you, Mr. X.
You heard it. If ARMAGEDDON NOW can do that for Mr. X, imagine what we can do for you!
Our professional staff will show you how to start a real war, leverage your knowledge of upcoming activities into real money, and generally turn a killer profit! Business will never be better.
We will make you the King Kong of Wall Street. Any skyscraper you want: climb it, buy it, or we'll bring it down! What could be better than that?
So, if you are ready to turn our nation's enemies into your business partners, and make one hell of a profit doing it, just call our toll-free number:
1-666-WARS-R-US
That number again:
1-666-WARS-R-US
and ask about our Nuclear Special -- nothing will brighten your day more, we guarantee it!
Call now! Operators are standing by.
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